The traveler's guide to traveling
By STEVE HONEYWELL
I have a relationship with the idea of travel. I don’t like traveling, but I do like being other places. The Star Trek transporter technology is appealing to me because of this, although I wouldn’t want to be the person to beta test the device. Of course, all bets are off when it comes to traveling for work. I won’t say I ever left a job because of business travel, but I will say not having to travel has been a perk of several past occupations.
In fact, one of the perks of teaching is that there normally isn’t a lot of travel involved. Regardless, this is the second time in three months I’ve been sent to Minnesota for work, and it’s unlikely that it will be the last time.
In cases like this, the whole trip is what bothers me, not just the travel part. I don’t generally sleep well in hotels, and this is especially true when I’m not with my family. I miss the familiar comforts of home, and when my family isn’t there, everything feels completely alien. If nothing else, spending a few days in a hotel gives me a chance to catch up on my insomnia.
For someone who doesn’t like the traveling part of travel, I seem to have been spending an awful lot of time in the car lately driving from one place to another. My poor car looks it, too. It looks like I’ve been living out of the front seat.
So, speaking as someone who has spent a lot of time in the car recently, here are a few things I’ve learned.
First, don’t trust the radio. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s really not. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t listen to the radio, but always bring something else to listen to. One thing that’s worse than a long car ride is a long car ride with no entertainment. These days, I prefer audio books. Find one that you either really want to read or that you already know you like.
The next time you buy or rent a car, look carefully at the cup holders. Specifically, look at location, width, and depth. Those cup holders that pop out of the dashboard should be avoided. Go instead with the ones between the driver and passenger seat. You want nice and wide and deep to handle a variety of cups, particularly large ones for long trips.
Speaking of that, watch the caffeine intake. Stops are useful and necessary, but too much caffeine makes for frequent stopping. When you do need to stop, do so before it’s an emergency, so that you can find a bathroom that doesn’t cause permanent emotional damage. Along the same lines, make a pit stop before you leave. As my mother has said since I can remember, you can always piddle a little.
Of course, the best plan of action is to just stay home. Or invent those Star Trek transporters. Just find someone else to test them for you.
• Steve Honeywell is a father and sometime stay-at-home dad. He teaches English composition at Kishwaukee College and is a freelance writer and proofreader.
