Domestic violence survivors share stories of healing
By JOHN PUTERBAUGH jputerbaugh@daily-chronicle.com
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| Anne Petty Johnson, of Davis Junction, walks during a Monday candle light vigil for Domestic Violence Awareness month held by Safe Passage at the DeKalb Area Women’s Center in DeKalb. Beck Diefenbach – bdiefenbach@daily-chronicle.com |
DeKALB – Two women shared harrowing tales of emotional and physical abuse Monday night at the DeKalb Area Women's Center.
Their accounts were part of Safe Passage's 15th annual domestic violence vigil, in recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The program also recognized several area churches and people who provide support and assistance to Safe Passage.
The first victim to share her story Monday was Heidi, whose husband brutally beat and emotionally abused her for more than 10 years. This was her first time talking about her experience, she said.
"If I had a list of injuries I had since I was married, it would roll right out the door," she said. "Nevertheless, Bill looked great on paper."
The women who spoke Monday night did not share their last names; the Daily Chronicle does not as a practice publish the names of victims of domestic or sexual abuse.
Heidi's husband was successful in his business and respected among those who knew him, she said. Still, he started physically abusing her within two weeks of their wedding, she said.
After 12 years, she called police. Her husband was arrested and she was given contact information for Safe Passage. That was the beginning of her healing process – one which remains under way and has been anything but easy.
"I cried every day for nine months solid," Heidi said. "I think that every tear that I didn't shed during my marriage came out in that time: 12 years of tears. And then, one day, out of the blue, I stopped crying.
"I could not have accomplished all that I did in the last four years without Safe Passage."
Another survivor, Ann, said she endured primarily psychological and emotional abuse by her husband for 16 years before moving on. Ann also struggled to explain the vital role Safe Passage played in the healing process.
Ann sees her experience as something of a character builder, and a chance to show women that abusive relationships have no place in this world. In what she considers a "former life," Ann sees something to take away.
"I refuse to ignore it because it has made me who I am today," she said. "For those of you who have experienced this kind of trauma, it is survivable."
Events like Monday night's vigil can send an important message to the community, DAWC director Anna Marie Coveny said.
"It increases the awareness," Coveny said. "I think there are still people who have the sense that it doesn't happen here, and indeed it does."
For more information on Safe Passage and the services it provides victims of domestic violence and abuse, visit www.safepassagedv.org.
