Kindness project honors slain students
By KATE SCHOTT
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kschott@daily-chronicle.com
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| Northern Illinois University senior Kim Nelson posts index cards with statements describing acts of kindness on the window of the University Honors Program office in the Campus Life building in DeKalb on Friday. The index cards, part of Huskie Acts of Kindness, were written by local elementary and high school students who were asked to do an act of kindness in preparation for the one-year marker of the Feb. 14 shooting at NIU. (Beck Diefenbach – bdiefenbach@daily-chronicle.com) |
They won’t erase the horror that happened in Room 101 of Cole Hall on Feb. 14, 2008.
And they won’t bring back Gayle Dubowski, Catalina Garcia, Julianna Gehant, Ryanne Mace and Daniel Parmenter.
What Huskie Acts of Kindness aims to do is remember the integrity of the five people killed in that classroom almost a year ago on the campus of Northern Illinois University.
“We talked a lot about, how do you observe an anniversary like this,” said Kate Braser, program coordinator for the University Honors Program, which is spearheading the Acts of Kindness effort. “We can’t erase the act of violence, but we felt it was a better representation of our students and our campus. … This is who we are. This is how we want to be known, not for that.”
The Acts of Kindness project has sent thousands of postcards out into the world. One side is blank, and the other invites the recipient to do an act of kindness in memory of Gayle, Catalina, Julianna, Ryanne and Daniel. Recipients are asked to describe the act in writing, decorate the card and send it back to the Honors Program.
The project embraces the attitude of NIU and the local community in the aftermath of the shooting – that this campus, this community, would not be defined by the actions of the gunman who stole five lives.
They would instead be defined by the way the campus and community responded.
They adopted the mantra “Forward, Together Forward,” a line from the Huskie Fight Song, and have spent the past year demonstrating that NIU is a place filled with compassionate people who will never forget Gayle, Catalina, Julianna, Ryanne and Daniel, NIU President John Peters said.
“If you come to NIU, you join a community – and I include the greater DeKalb-Sycamore community – in a caring, nurturing environment where you should be sensitive to others and take care of each other,” he said.
The cards will be displayed Saturday in the Holmes Student Center, one of many events, exhibits or activities that will take place as NIU marks one year since the shooting with NIU Remembers: A Day of Reflection.
Among the many things going on that day: a memorial service in the Convocation Center in the morning, a presentation of memorial wreaths in the afternoon, and a candlelight vigil at night.
All of the NIU Remembers events were approved by the families of the deceased and students who were in the classroom where the shooting occurred, Peters said.
“I never want to do anything that would in any way cause more pain than they went through,” he said. “As I’ve come to know these students who were in the classroom and I get to know the parents of the deceased, I am impressed, overwhelmed, by their strength and their wisdom and their caring.”
Forward together
In August, NIU officials started tackling the challenge no one wanted: planning events for a day that must be remembered – but that no one wants to recall. Even what to call the day has been difficult, said Scott Peska, director of the Office of Support and Advocacy, because “anniversary” rings of celebration.
Former NIU graduate student Steven Kazmierczak walked into Room 101 of Cole Hall just after 3 p.m. and opened fire, killing five before turning the gun on himself. Another 21 were either shot or injured in the confusion that followed.
Planning for the one-year marker – the word many people on campus have adopted for Saturday – is much different than it was for other events that took place after shooting, Peters said.
Last year, the focus was on grieving and coming together. This year, it’s remembering the deceased so their families and the community know that the NIU campus will never forget them, said Kathy Buettner, vice president of external affairs.
Peters appointed two committees to plan for the day: one that would organize the official memorial service at 10:30 a.m. Saturday and another that would focus on the rest of the day. He asked the committees to create a day that was simple and dignified.
Buettner headed the committee for the Legacy of Character Memorial service, which starts at 10:30 a.m. Saturday. It will focus on the five students who were slain, she said, with five student actors each talking about one of them.
“The core of this program is these five students,” she said. “It’s a theme of hope and taking the whole ‘Forward, Together Forward’ mantra. We are together; we are not ever forgetting our students. They left a legacy, and it is one of hope.”
Peters said the morning memorial service, a 3 p.m. wreath presentation near Cole Hall and a 6 p.m. candlelight vigil will frame the day for him. Plans for the permanent memorial also will be unveiled. The memorial will include a garden and a sculpture. It will be in the line of sight of Cole Hall, but it will also be out of the way of regular foot traffic.
Peska – whose office was created to work with the students who were in the classroom and the families and friends of the deceased – said the families are pleased with what is planned for the day.
“They’ve appreciated being involved in and knowing about things before they went public and being involved in part of that planning process,” he said.
The University Honors Program will have a display in the Holmes Student Center and hope to show as many of the postcards they have received as possible, Braser said. They initially ordered 2,000 postcards, and another 2,000 when those quickly ran out. Early last week, Braser ordered 4,000 more.
“You hope that someone who does a random act of kindness will help people who helped us last year,” Braser said. “Like an ER nurse or a business owner who put up banners. You hope that randomly, it trickles down to those people.”
Dina Bach, a peer advisor in the University Honors office, turned in the first card after she gave some money to a homeless man during a visit to Chicago. She said students are excited about being involved in the project because they are searching for a way to give back and remember their lost peers.
“It’s a really good way to get involved in such a big community,” she said. “It makes everyone comfortable. … It’s a nice feeling knowing people are out there doing this.”
