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Local Column

Cheeky Mama: Time for mamas to make peace, not war

Mamas can be mean. Sometimes I wonder what their motives are.

Being a mama is challenging enough. It should be common knowledge that along with being compassionate, we should support one another.

Recently, I have been bummed. You see, I have been experiencing a bunch of negativity.

I am a part of some local online mom groups. Most of the time, we are soliciting advice or wanting to vent. Lately, there has been competitiveness. I’ve been reading comments about how one mom is stealing another mom’s crafting sales. Instead of accusing the other of being a copycat, shouldn’t they be sharing ideas on how to market to their buyers? It just seems so petty.

LuLa Roe clothing has become very popular. At one of the pop-up parties, another mom asked me where I lived. I happily said DeKalb. She said something to the effect of, “Why don’t you live in Sycamore?” And with haste in her voice, she explained to me how Sycamore is a better place – implying that I must be poor and live in the ghetto. I didn’t even engage the conversation. I simply became distracted looking at clothes.

On a related note, I am a grown woman who is not impressed with where someone lives, how much money someone makes or what kind of car someone drives.

Funny thing is, I know rich people and very wealthy people. And their distinction is quite simple: The wealthy do not exploit it. They are humble and kind. Shouldn’t mamas be that way with each other? And if not for each other, then at least for their kiddos?

Speaking of cars, another mama asked me whether I ever have had a brand-new car. Now, I have been friends with her for a very long time. She knows darn well that I have only had two used cars. It was an odd thing to ask me, and for what?

Lastly, I was at a wake with my family, and my daughter was wearing a dark-colored plaid dress. She had on cute little shoes and ruffle socks to match. Another mom made a comment about how she didn’t have on tights. I started to laugh and looked over at her kiddos overheated in their dark-colored dress and dark tights. I wanted to say, “No, it’s too hot outside,” but I didn’t.

Anyway, my point is, once again, mamas need to unite, not divide. Mamas need to build up, not tear down. And for Christ’s sake, mamas just need to make peace, not war.

• Becca Hirst is a proud DeKalb resident who writes about her life as a working mother. She hopes to bring more enjoyment to and less shaming and judging of herself and other mothers. Reach her at

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