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Local Column

Cheeky Mama: Love ... is it a game?

As I grow to understand being a mother, I start to wonder what kind of questions my daughter will ask.

Surprisingly, the “birds and the bees” conversation doesn’t frighten me. Explaining the matters of the heart doesn’t bother me, either. I feel confident explaining conventional relationships.

We all know our children like to experience the world on their own and make mistakes on their own. With that being said, my relationship advice will probably be 40 percent in my favor. 

You see, when I was a girl, wise words were spoken to me. If I would have listened, 60 percent of my heartaches would have been avoided. 

I debated whether I should approach this topic. It’s not necessarily controversial; however, it might make folks feel uncomfortable about their own relationships.  

Although I am not shallow, it could be perceived that way.

By no means am I a relationship expert.

Readers, please try to keep an open mind.

I am not naive and have had many experiences when it comes to love. Playing a fool for love has taught me a lot.    

I believe in soul mates. I believe the pendulum swings during the course of a romance.  

Finally, I do believe that a man must love a woman more, especially at the beginning of the relationship.  

Perhaps I am referencing the hunter-gatherer theory. Men like the chase. They like to feel like they have won a prize.

Even if the girl is head over heels, it is best to restrain her feelings. The man should be the one who says the “L word” first.  

I will explain to my daughter that falling in love will be a wonderful experience. That giving and receiving love is the most wonderful part of being a human.  

Sustaining a romance, however, depends on how much the man loves the woman. When a man truly loves a woman, he will go to great lengths to keep her happy. If he can’t live without her, then she will feel appreciated. Feeling appreciated perpetuates more love from the woman, and so the cycle never ends.  

When a woman loves a man more, he will give up the fight because he has nothing to hunt. 

Again, I have nothing but experience and wise words from a very old man to back my theory. I have shared my advice with family and friends. And I will always tell my daughter my truth about the “L word.”

• Becca Hirst is a proud DeKalb resident who writes about her life as a working mother. She hopes to bring more enjoyment to and less shaming and judging of herself and other mothers. Reach her at

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