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Schultz: What women want (really)

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“More than 50 years ago, the United States was roiled by the feminist and sexual revolutions,” Spar writes, “which together sought to bring women out of their household isolation and into a community devoted to achieving broader social goals. Yet far from rally around these quaint echoes of sisterhood, we seem stuck today in a purgatory of perfection – each of us trying so hard to be everything that inevitably, inherently, we fail.”

Poor striving, lonely us. Good God.

Spar’s take generated quite a buzz among my many female friends, through phone calls, emails and Facebook posts. Most of us are baby boomers; all of us are mothers and feminists; and we are so tired of depictions that cast us as ambitious and lonely except when we’re fighting among ourselves.

I can’t imagine who I would be today without all the women who have helped me, personally and professionally, over the years, particularly in my decade as a single mother. I never felt more like a member of the tribe than when, to outside observers, I appeared to be going it alone. A network of women served as surrogate aunts to my kids, and I’m a columnist because two female editors – Elizabeth McIntyre and Ellen Stein Burbach – championed my work to the reluctant men in charge.

Count me driven by gratitude for the women in my life, like so many other women I know. Do the mean girls still exist? Sure, but they’re increasingly marginalized.

Most women have moved past the tired debate over whether we can have it all and be perfect, too. I witnessed this evolution firsthand last weekend in Cincinnati, where nearly 150 women – from CEOs to women living in a homeless shelter, from teenagers to grandmothers – gathered for a YWCA “What Women Want” town hall meeting to discuss health care, the national budget, hate crimes and voting rights. We sat eight to a table, armed with opinions and hand-held gadgets that allowed us to share them with everyone, for hours.

We learned about ourselves and one another. We’re full of big ideas. Regardless of race, age or party affiliation, the majority of us want equal pay for equal work and health care coverage for addiction and mental illness. We want Congress to pass the American Jobs Act to stimulate job creation, and we want adequate funding for public schools. A good chunk of us – nearly 40 percent – said we want Congress to remove tax cuts for companies that send jobs overseas.


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