Revisiting the 'love languages'

The “Five Love Languages” – coined by Gary Chapman – still enlightens me every time I reflect on it, so I hope you feel the same.

Though this blog is about human sexuality, it doesn’t mean the “Five Love Languages” doesn’t pertain to other types of relationships. Remember, a primary love language is taught to a person. Also, remember, in most intimate relationships and marriages, the partners do not have the same love language and it can still be a fulfilling connection.

Receiving gift is the third love language we are going to explore.

“In fact, it is one of the easiest love languages to learn,” Chapman said.

Throughout all cultures, showing love can be done by giving and receiving presents. These presents are visual symbols of affection with emotional value.

The receiving gifts love language does not require people spend a tremendous amount of money on gifts. Gifts can be made, found or bought. What the gift represents is the fact the person even thought of the other. It can also mean the person was remembered and valued.

Someone whose primary love language is receiving gifts, of course, wants them on special occasions, such as birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Hanukkah, achievements, Easter, Valentine’s Day, Sweetest Day, a wedding, becoming a parent, surgeries, and the loss of family/friend/pet. They also will take great pleasure in receiving gifts for no special reason.

Here is a twist when it comes to marriage and this particular love language: the gift of a person’s presence also is acceptable proof of admiration.

“Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts,” Chapman states.

This twist is quite like the second love language: spending quality time with the person you love.

So, if our primary love language is not this, we need help so that we can express it. Here are some great examples of giving gifts to show love, especially if you like to save your money instead of spending it:

• Look for Groupons.
• Wait for sales.
• Make a special envelope and start saving for an item you want to give.
• Check the resale shop.
• Clip coupons.
• Barter.
• Ask the person’s family or friends to watch for deals on items the person enjoys
• Split the cost with another family member or friend.
• Split the cost with the actual person you love.
• Make a gift on the computer, out of paper or look online for ideas.
• Pick flowers.
• Go to discount shops.