Show me the love

Receiving love and giving love is an essential need for humans.

As we grow, we are conditioned on how we prove our love. I hope to write about all different ways we can healthfully show love. As a series of blogs, I am going to write about various “love languages” by author Gary Chapman.

These “love languages” have been described in 13 of Chapman’s books. He explains that it is very rare for a couple to have the same love language. So in order for a relationship to thrive, it is vital we discover how our mates interpret being loved.

I am going to start explaining only two out of the five “love languages.” The first one is called words of affirmation. This is not merely talking to your mate or sharing feelings. Words of affirmation support and encourage your mate. Some examples:

• Tell your mate things such as, "You are working really hard on your deadline for work," or, "It was great to see you do something you are passionate about."

• Learn to say I love you in their native language or many languages.

• Offer sincere compliments.

• Write a thoughtful poem or letter.

• Tell him or her about your day and ask your mate about their day.

If speaking words of affirmation is difficult, Chapman suggests practicing until it is comfortable.

Now, let’s talk about spending quality time together. Nearly all couples enjoy watching TV and eating. Over time, these activities become silent. Neither mate is talking, and if they are, it is with someone else on the cellphone. Actual quality time should be spent engaged. Some real life occasions of this “love language”:

• Play an interactive video game.

• Cook a meal together.

• Walk the dog.

• Play a board game.

• Do an activity the other enjoys.

• Get a couple's massage.

• Plan a weekend getaway or vacation.

• Do something completely new.

Scheduling quality time together can be difficult. If your relationship is important to you, then planning these occasions are a necessity. As with anything we care about, investing our time and energy will reap rewards and love.